Life's big questions

I can still remember the moment, checking my passport 5 times, as my mother drove me to the airport.  My father had been slowing around, due to it being extremely early in the morning, so my mother told me to get into the car so we could go.  I threw my luggage in the car and before I knew it we were out the garage and headed to the airport.  I hadn’t slept the whole night due to packing, reassuring what I packed, and weighing my luggage over and over again.  I was excited and I was scared but I knew that this trip, was a trip that I had to do for myself.  I had never traveled without my family.  Especially on a trip that would take me half way around the world.  Just one year before this moment, I had been applying for jobs in Atlanta, Durham, and the DC area.  I was under the assumption that since I had received my bachelors I was grown and could travel away from home and I could start a new life and be content.

I mean isn’t that how all stories go.  A young adult moves away from home in order to find them self, and comes back with their whole life together.  Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Simba… work with me here.  Subliminally, we are taught that when we remove ourselves geographically we raise our potential to be happy.  It isn’t until we actually experience it for ourselves that at the end of the day no matter where you are, when you lay down at night, all the problems you thought you left behind, are going to flood your thoughts.  All of the people you were running from will no longer be there but we fail to realize the people we cared about the most won’t be there either.  A change of scenery will not always result in clear thoughts.  Sometimes it allows us to realize what bothers us the most by placing us in a state of solitude during our search.

And here I was literally half way around the world searching for an inner peace that couldn’t be found.  I had life changing questions throughout my trip that made me define what my world really was:

1.       Who am I?

2.       What is a black person to a color blind world?

3.       When will people notice my social media posts have stopped?

4.       Where am I?

5.       Why have I finally made it to a place everyone dreams of being and I'm struggling?

6.       How will I know when I'm truly content?

I'll explain how I came to answer those questions over the next few blogs.

Kenya Africa, Mylando's

Mountain Top, Hua Hin